I'd Like to Think I'm Lethal Now.

I need someone's face in front of me so I can elbow it. Tonight Dawn was nice (and persuasive) enough to teach me and some other girls in a self defense class. Actually, I've always wanted to take a self defense course, so I was excited to see what it was all about.

For those of you who don't know (or who haven't been paying attention), Dawn is, among other things, a Tae Kwon Do instructor. She and her husband Rick teach anyone who wants to learn the "art" of Tae Kwon Do, and they're very good at what they do. Plus, it just makes the two of them that much cooler. (I'll attempt to get Dawn to tell the story of Rick stealthily taking down some purse snatcher in the canned food aisle of Ralphs like he was plucking lint off his pants. Oh look. I just told the story.) Anyway, Dawn is always talking about her muscle memory and how at any time, she has about 13 moves she can use to make you involuntarily burst your bladder. And that's exactly what I want to do: some bladder bursting.

Enter Dawn and her self defense class. Let's just say, Dawn wasn't wrong all those times she told me I'm scrappy. Hitting, punching, kicking and eyeball gouging is just plain fun (when is it NOT?), but learning to do it with technique and control makes it just....addictive. I now want one of those kicking/punching bag things to practice with. And I guess I'd need the person behind it holding the bag and being irrelevant in every other way.

So, thank you "Mrs. Maestas" (your students are a hell of a lot more respectful than I would be if you were my teacher) for being so skilled and for sharing some of that skill and strength with me. (But I'm most appreciative of the fact that I feel justthismuch more confident that I can shatter the bones in some guy's foot, snap his knee, and then elbow him in the groin. With class.)