VMAs. Or, Miley Put Your Tongue Away.

I adore awards shows. So much to judge, so little time. Here's a quick list:

VMAs, do music videos actually exist in the post apocalypse? (1981-1990)

Justin Timberlake. I felt a litte ripped off by the meager bone you threw your bandmates from NSYNC, but there is no denying your awesomeness. No, I don't listen to him much, you guys, but he did an athletic 20 minutes last night without breaking a sweat. Sure, he's no Michael Jackson, but that's ok...I dig you JT.

Last night I went to a KANYE restaurant. I had KANYE and then for KANYE I had some KANYE KANYE.  I sat next to KANYE and KANYED KANYELY all night. A KANYE time was had by KANYE.~ Kanye West filling out a Mad Lib

Is there a more narccistic human on the planet? Listen Mr. Kardashian, the R & B greats that have come before you and paved the way for your incomrehensible success, are rolling in their graves. Even posthumously, they also have more soul, talent, and class in their dry bones than you possess. Ugh.

TSwift. I channeled my inner teenage girl and thouroughly enjoyed EVERYTHING about you!! Squeeeee! The navy dress, red lips, fab fab fab. I die.

Daft Punk. WHY DID YOU PRESENT AND NOT PERFORM? NOT lucky. (See what I did there?)

Miley. Oh Miley, Miley, Miley. I feel like your attempt to be outrageous is your THING, as opposed to your actual music career. Don't get me wrong baby girl, I love you, but if you were my daughter I'd turn you over my knee and give you a spanking. And about that, lovey, do some squats.
The foam finger got to 3rd base with you ON TV. Also, no one wants to see a pretty girl look yukky. Lose the broke down Gwen Stefani wannabe look and stop doing things you will be embarassed about when you are an actual grownup. Like the tongue thing. It looked like a reptile in your mouth. I speak from experience. I was your age in 1984, for the love of spandex. Ask Xtina how the whole Im-not-a-sweet-Disney-girl-look-I'll-prove-it thing worked out for her. Muah.

Gaga does what Gaga does. I feel like she puts a bunch of glue on herself and rolls around and what ever sticks is the outfit. Great opening to this particular show though. Applause. <----i again.="" did="" font="" it="">

Katy Perry. I missed Katy. *sadface* But I saw that she wore grills. Uh...grills, Katy? Please see the Miley comment about pretty girls uglying up with a fashion statement that Flav A Flav rocked for goodness' sake!!

VMAs, In referenc to my first question, does anyone make rock music (videos) in 2013?

just Dawn