Getting to Know Us, Getting to Know All About Us (Part 1)*

*That title is from the musical, The King and I, for those of you who don't (care to) know about musicals. Or, who might actually detest them - which is the category I thought Dawn fell into until I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Dawn has a special place in her heart for this song, in particular. I suppose you can ask her the reason why, if you're that curious.



Now is when we play the interview game so you all can get to know us better. Most likely, the only things you'll come to learn will be unnecessary, trivial, but no doubt entertaining bits of trivia. Which will take you nowhere in life. (Which, by coincidence, have also taken us nowhere.)



First contestant today? Me. (Michelle/Mischa) I will be answering Dawn's questions, and in Part 2 (insert anxious anticipation!), we'll switch places. And we're off....



Donald Trump, Hulk Hogan, Dog the Bounty Hunter , or JLo for U.S. Senate? Why/why not?

What's this "U.S. Senate"? Okay, well, you'd think right off the bat it would be Donald Trump for reasons obvious to anyone as to why he'd make a great politician. (Such as, messy marriages and divorces, excessive focus paid to his hair, etc.) Then, you've got JLo which makes sense with the whole "I want to have my hand in everything, even if it's not my specialty" thing. (Acting) But, I'm going with Dog, the Bounty Hunter. At least we'd know he'd get the job done. Whatever that job is, it would be rounded up, intimidated, cussed at, and thrown into an SUV. Done and done.



You are from the great (debatable) state of Oregon. What are the top 3 myths about OR, Oregonians, or anything Pacific Northwest, and how do you debunk them?

There are no myths. Everything you've heard is proabably true. I make no claims that I'll defend Oregon. Never have.



If there were a movie made of your life, who would most accurately play you? Who would be the most outrageous actor to play you? In your life story, who would play me?

Way to bring it back to you, Dawn. Nicely done. So, let's start with your actor. The obvious answer is Chelsea Handler; you both have a dry, take it or leave it kind of wit about you. But, as you've said before, you guys would be best friends if she knew you. So I think you should stay friends instead of having Chelsea try and portray you. Here's the thing, Dawn: you don't fit into a mold, and actresses nowadays are all just mold-y and unoriginal. I might need some suggestions from our reader(s). Guys? Who has a really smart sense of humor, is gorgeous, but also really tough (in a good way)? I'm going to disappoint you and ask you to let me think on it... *Update: It just came to me who should play you, Dawn! Lauren Graham, most famously known for playing the extra, super sarcastic, good with words, well dressed, pretty, and so-cool-that-everyone-wants-to-be-her-friend character in "Gilmore Girls." I like her a lot - she seems like she's perpetually a teenager (the fun kind, not the kind that makes you want to remove your uterus with whatever tool you have lying around). So, I hope you think of that as a compliment, Dawn. Because I most definitely do.*
Who would play me, huh? Well, you know that James (names not changed to protect privacy) calls me Lemon after Liz Lemon/Tina Fey because apparently I do and say things that remind him of Liz Lemon....excluding stealing babies, eating bags of Mexican cheese snacks, wanting to marry an astronaut, and stapling my bra. (I've only done one of those.) But, saying Tina Fey would play me is too much of a dubious honor for me to accept. So, I don't know. Diane Keaton? I might say Jenna Elfman. (I realize she's very tall, folks). She's quirky, imperfect, talks with her hands, and makes crying look cute. The most outrageous? Also Jenna Elfman - this time because of the enormous and ridiculous difference in height.

All super heros have a super power. Superman can fly, Spiderman can make webs or something, Wonder Woman has a golden lasso that makes people tell the truth. What super hero are you and what is your super power?
I've actually been asked this and have asked it of other people, and each time I give my answer, I'm mocked. But, I think it would come in extremely handy. I. Would like. The power of knowing every language in existence. Hear me out. How helpful would it be to know how to communicate no matter where you went in the world?! You'd sound cool, you would be able to negotiate with terrorists and world leaders, AND you could get away with not looking so much like a tourist when you traveled to France where they hate American tourists. (Or, just Americans.) Maybe it's that I love other languages and am always impressed when people are bi-lingual or multi-lingual. Because it's not easy for me to learn languages. So that's what I'd want. Which, I guess, would make me "SUPER LINGUIST!"

Next up: Dawn....