Halloween Humbug

You guys, usually I ADORE Halloween! I love spooky, sparkly, costumey, candy, and FUN-ness.  Call me Hallow-eh. This year I am disappointed and I'm sure you're dying to know why:

I get no trick or treaters on my street. You'd have to be an Olympic athlete to want to hike the 45 degree incline that is Presidio. Dumbest street ever. No kids even play out there. Wait....maybe that's an upside.... DEF, but not on Halloween. I will sit here with my sad small bag of Snickers JUSTINCASE. No one will come. I hate Snickers.

My son is grown up. Parents of cute little goblins and clowns and superheroes, enjoy this. It's so great. I know I profess to be a great kid hater, but I wasn't some kind of Stepford mom, jeez. Little Johnny and I had fun back in the day. Little J's costumes circa birth to 7yo: Elvis. Yep. Full on white satin jumpsuit, gold cape, and a belt that looked like he had to pin someone for it. No, it's not child abuse, it's just AWESOME. Skunk, scarecrow, devil, Indiana Jones, little clown. All lovingly crafted by his grandma. It was SO GREAT before he turned into a little boy who wanted to be bloody and creepy and have gruesome masks, fake blood, and scythes. Well, that was fun too, really.....

Sluts are Us. YOU GUYS!! WHY is every female costume "sexy"? Why can't we choose from cops or firefighters, or nurses or even DISNEY PRINCESSES without it being a skinfest??? I'm not prude ladies, but I have seen sexy costumes for little girls! Color me outraged!! It's bad enough that as adults we parade our sexuality like its a commodity...and a cheap one at that. But to hand that down to our little girls is disgraceful. Ok, off my soapbox. Just please, please, ladies, creativity over sexuality. And if your baby is a "sexy" mermaid, I might kick you in the neck. Ugh. PS...note to guys, please stop living out your cross dressing fantasies on Halloween. You're not fooling anyone.

Miley costumes...oh I just can't even. Everyone, just let Miley's foolishness die a quiet death. PS. I secretly love Wrecking Ball. The song, not the video.  www.nofoamfinger.org

So this year I dub myself Halloween Grinch. Bah Boo-bug! Maybe I'll just go watch Jack Skellington and call it a night....

Just Dawn