It's All Fun & Games Until Someone Has to Suck the Poison Out.

Dawn won't let me kill spiders in our room when we go to Africa.



Let me back up a minute and set the stage. First, yes: Dawn and I are roommates during our PEACE trip to Sierra Leone. (Am I excited?, you ask. My pee-my-pants-due-to-happiness meter is off the charts.) And you'd think, naturally, that we would have planned that, but no; it was random. (Or, divinely inspired if you want to look at it like that.)



The next piece necessary to display on this story's stage is the fact that Dawn is a vegetarian and massive animal lover. (She doesn't only love animals massive in size. And Dawn herself is not massive. It's her love for animals that earns that particular size description. And as a side note, over-clarification makes me feel all warm and secure inside.) Because of this, Dawn doesn't condone the killing of any animal when it's unwarranted, and to use her words, she "chooses compassion over cruelty" every time. This is just one of the many things I admire about Dawn. Admire, not agree with.



My thoughts on the matter are, I absolutely agree with not killing when it comes to all those beautiful animals or animals that remind me of dogs. (Sorry - you can't call me superficial if I already called myself that first.) For instance, hunting, killing for the pure "sport" (ego boosting) of it, makes no sense to me. "Wow! That's an enormous elk head you have over your hearth! I guess I never heard about the time you were lost in the wild with no food and then had to resort to killing an animal in order to survive! Oh. That wasn't what happened? You just shot the elk because you could? Was it a war of the minds? Oh. Elk don't have the intelligence level of a human? Ohhhhh, but you got a TROPHY for killing it? Well then, please, carry on. You just go right ahead and keep adding majestic animal heads to your home decor!"

But, there are certain animals (snakes, spiders, anything unpredictable and much too quick) that are so horrendous looking and that have B-movie horror films made of them, that we should all just be a little more understanding toward each other when one of us (me) kills something as freakishly scary as a spider that's large enough to EAT A BIRD! (It's true, Dawn. They exist.) Dawn's technique is to tenderly scoop up a spider on a piece of paper and gently shoo it out into nature. How very idyllic. She's like the Jane Goodall of arachnids.




And since Dawn has seen me kill a few spiders with as much blunt force trauma as what you would usually reserve for cracking a coconut, she knows my feelings about spiders being in my territory. (Or, large cockroaches. Scampering out from behind my office phone. It happened.) And as we've been warned about the possibility of creatures foreign to us showing up uninvited in our rooms in Sierra Leone, I've already told Dawn that cruelty (survival, in my opinion) will most likely wreck compassion when it comes to my "creeped out" level.

So, stay tuned to find out how many times the two of us will be forced to have a little conflict resolution while in Africa based on the number of times I bring a violent death to any and all spiders, snakes, crawling things, etc.

All I know is I, for one, will sleep a lot better.

Just, Michelle

Why I'm Not Sending Christmas Cards This Year

1. It's an expense that, let's face it, ends up in the trash. (With the exception of a few clever scrapbooky types.)

2. I have been an Albertsons Regional Manager for 6 weeks. (cutting into my "free time" outside my 40 hours a week regular job.)

3. Mischa's not, and this frees me from obligatory guilt. (LOVE her!)

4. Much to my chagrin, I'm not feeling super "Christmassey". Not your fault, Dear Potential Card Recipients, I'm just not.

5. I wanted to make cards. Couldn't find any I liked. (*excuse*)

6. Recently spent $100 on postage for Mission Trip letter. (thank you!)

7. Did NOT get awesome labrador photo for card this year.

8. Do not have an amazing "Family Newsletter" to send out. If you feel cheated, here it is:

Dear Friends,
My kid is NOT at Stanford or working with the Peace Corps. Rick and I are well and blessed. My dogs will NOT be at Westminster this year (or ever) but they are not very gassy right now. I recently sold 3 ugly bracelets to pay for wisdom teeth and community college, and feel it was totally worth it. There's a lot to be said for loving your job and your friends. I do, and I do. Not bad. Suck it overachievers.

Merry Christmas!
Love,
Maestas/Sanders

9. It's not you, it's me.

10. I hereby vow to make awesome, personal cards next year. I love you all.

just Dawn (with validation from Mischa.)

Christmas Shopping, et al: Part Deux

In your family, who does the shopping? Who wraps? Who is the BEST gift-buyer? Who is the worst? (Ok, rhetorical, do not list them here.) In my family, I shop, I wrap...(beautifully, I LOVE wrapping!) And I make: cards, crafts, ornaments, and food gifts. I sense an imbalance in the Christmas atmosphere. I am also the family diplomat, photographer, counselor, chef, and pastor. It seems like a lot of responsibility for a cynical, sarcastic, ex-potty-mouthed, ex-wrestling bartender.

Ok, so I do love and serve Jesus. Ok, so I am a bit creative, culinary, and love CHRIST-mas. Ok, so I am a big sentimental sap about Christmas. I'm sure you could conclude that I invite these yearly responsibilities.
Ok, nothing brilliant to say to that. You'd be right. So, that be said, these are a few of my favorite AND (no ILYLD blog would be complete without) my UN-favorite things....

Favorite gift: Many, many to choose from...Clown Marionette from my dad the last Christmas we were together. Beautiful. Fun. He knew what I love. And I freakin' LOVE my sweet clown puppet. Do not DARE say anything....I will shank you.

Worst gift: Matching Elephant candleholders and clock. (Have you MET me?) However, my worst gift, not THE worst gift. My friend "Annabelle" (not her real name) once got a gift of Garage Sale underwear for Christmas with the 25 cent stickers still on them. Winner.

Best gift I ever gave: Hand drawn portrait of my father at age 20 in his dress blues on the Washington DCPD. He had the photo I drew it from made for my mom when they were dating. He cried. (I never saw him cry before.) This was the last Christmas we were together. God knew. I didn't know. (Miss you JR, SO much.)

Worst gift I ever gave: None. I rock at gifts.

Best Christmas story, recent: Rex discovered his love for gifts. Tree set up, presents under, several days before Christmas. Rex "opens" all presents under the tree in gift bags. John thanks me for the new batch of socks, I scold John for "peeking", John informs me that he got home from work and new socks were strewn all over the living room, tissue paper and bags everywhere.

Best Christmas story, past: Johnny, "Mommy, won't Santa get tired of all those cookies? We should make him a big sandwich!" Good thinking, little J! Runner-up in this catagory: my first Christmas at Saddleback! Awesome!!!

Favorite Christmas CD: Charlie Brown Christmas, Vince Guaraldi Trio.

Christmas Music hate: All the crappy Muzak in stores.

Favorite Christmas food: Mom's cashew brittle. (Mom? Do you even read my blog?)

Worst Christmas food: Goose. JK, never had it or would have it. Just sounds funny. Universal worst Christmas food is obviously Meat Pops from Hickory Farms.

Favorite Christmas decoration, year after year: There are so many, but the hands down winner is my stocking. My mom made it for me when I was about 7. It is beautiful. She has made LOTS since then, but mine is the best! (Mom, seriously, you need to read my blog....) In case my brother is reading, MY STOCKING IS THE BEST.

Respond with your favorites and UN-favorites. Misch and I wish you a blessed and Merry Christmas. May the Lord revive and invigorate your generosity, grace, and humor this Christmas season!
Happy Birthday Jesus!

just Dawn