I'm Sexy and I Know It. by: Dawns Spine

Hi Blog Fans,  (You know, Dawn and Michelle's Moms)
It's me, Dawns amazing Spine.  It has occurred to me of late, that the hair, the smile, the face, the skin, get ALL of the attention!  They don't do CRAP compared to me! PLUS, they get all the glory!  "Oh Dawn, you look so youthful!". You know what I get?...."Oh Dawn, you have the spine of an 85 year old woman!".  It's time I had my day in the sun! So lately, it's been all about me. AND I have been twisted, slammed, kicked, flipped, karate chopped, and wrenched for all of my trouble.  What am I anyway, compared to the colored, dyed, Botoxed, extensioned, cosmeticed, plucked, groomed, moisturized, shaved, waxed, serumed, buffed, and exfoliated MORE IMPORTANT entities that all together make up our Dawn?  

Oh Dawn, you are so cruel.  I have stood up for you (Literally) your whole life.  You have "rewarded" me with gymnastics, wrestling, and free sparring  for my dogged perseverance.  Well, now its all ME, isn't it?  I got MY picture taken twice this week!  I had MY specialists tending to our needs this week, didn't I?  HA to you, colorist! Manicurist!  I'm the star this week!
 
Dawn, if you can't grasp how important it is to nurture and care for the structure over the exterior, who will?  The foundation over the superficial?  I hate to be the I-told-you-sayer of your body (I've always left that up to the SO self-important, "You can't live without ME" heart) but your reality check is NOW, my Dawn.  Time for a lovely Pilates class.  Hang up your theoretical wrestling boots for good.  Or else.

Love,
Your Smoking Hot Lumbar, Thoracic, and Cervical Spine.

A Poet and I Know It.....

Ode to Marriage (Wife’s Lament)

By Dawn


I like the smell of Windex and he likes Coppertone.

He likes to fill our house with friends, I like to be alone.


We disagree on who’s the best rock singer of all time.

Ian Gillian* would be his pick, Rob Halford* would be mine.


While we agree Paul Rodgers* is mostly under-rated,

Lady Gaga, who I love, he has always hated.


I like gymnastics, he likes the Rams.

(I have disdain for most sports fans.)


I like salty, he likes sweet.

I’m a veg and he eats meat.


I know I am right, but we don’t fight, we “agree to disagree”.

Sometimes I even let him “win”…*wink, wink* hey, that’s just me.


“Where do we keep the duct tape?” I’ve often heard him say…

Where we keep it, and where you left it last are surely worlds away.


On our favorite restaurants, we easily agree….

He has this awesome habit of frequently spoiling me!


With all our heart we love our boys with all their silly flaws,

I’d even go so far as to say we love our mother in laws!

(Hey, I know my mom reads my blog! Sorry for the interruption….)


I like art, he likes to rock. I like to read, my man’s a jock.

I love my sweetie, Ruby Sue. (Don’t let him fool you, he does too.)


He has good guys around him. Though “guy-time” I just don’t get…

My awesome girls could rule the world; we just haven’t done it yet.


Sharing a bathroom with this man just might do me in.

Married ladies, help me out, can I get a big Amen!?


Sigh. He’s my rock star, my best friend, and my better half,

So back off ladies, don’t even try, or I’ll shank you in the calf.


The end.

*Google the ancient rockers, young people.