Oh Paris!

For those of you COMPLETELY out of touch with celebrity/Las Vegas happenings, (which I hope is the majority of you, really.) I can't just let Paris Hilton's latest foibles go unnoticed. I tried, people. For the record, I completely ignored LiLo's court/rehab troubles. I have eschewed the latest Brangelina break-up rumors, no matter how many grocery store tabloid checkout photos have showed hideous, meltdown photos of a visibly infuriated (read: freakin' batshit crazy) Angie. Really people....I IGNORE THIS TRIPE.

Why can't I let this go, you ask? Confusion. I can't decide what offends me the most about this story. Socalite, (read: no-job-havin' rich chick) Paris Hilton, riding in her BFs Escalade in LAS VEGAS, is pulled over by LVMPD because of a "strong odor of marijuana" emitting from the vehicle. Offense #1 and 2....The arrogance of cruising Vegas, smoking weed, with the windows down, in the nondescript, economy, ESCALADE. (Sidenote: I grew up in Vegas. DO NOT do that.) Paris, being Uber-famous, asks the cops if they can step inside the Wynn Resort and Casino, home of all things holy and moral, so she can have privacy from the paparazzi, and because, (go Paris) she had to pee. I'm ok with her to this point, believe it or not.

Next, Paris goes into her purse for who knows what, and, IN PLAIN VIEW of the COPS, drops her cocaine. Really, Paris? I am less offended by your stupidity than I am by your arrogance.

NEXT....as if stupidity and arrogance were not enough, her defense? The drugs WERE NOT MINE!!! Holy shit!! Really? Hey Paris, 6th Grade called...they want their excuse for getting caught with cigarettes in their purse back.

Paris H. claims that the purse was not hers. Her lip gloss and asthma medication (I'm sure cocaine is AWESOME for asthma!) were in there, but, yeah, not. her. purse. Ladies, how many times have you said something like, "Hey Misch, can I take your cheap purse out on the town, despite my millions, and don't bother to clear out your drugs! I'm just gona toss in my meds and lipgloss and I'm outie!" Yeah, right, PH. Offensive #3.

More outrage: Wynn Hotel comes out in a statement that Paris is BANNED from their establishment!!! Really Steve and Elaine? Have you ever BEEN to Vegas??? The answer is, yes, you have. I went to high school with your kids. You are Las. Vegas. Icons. You are the king and queen of Las Vegas. Your hotels changed the face of my hometown. Please, please, please do not pretend in the media that a gazillionaire like PH, or ANY celebrity or high roller could not order ANYTHING straight from the concierge of any Wynn property. Because they could. Midget stripper mud wrestlers? Done. Pam Anderson blow up doll? Latex-clad foot fetish dominatrix? Done and done. Cocaine???? They practically leave that on your pillow with the chocolate mint at night!!!

Wynn, YOU offend me more than dumb ass Paris and her (sorry, NOT her) miniscule amount of illicit drugs. Am I for drugs? Certainly not. Am I for blatant hypocracy? Have you MET me? Wynn, make this right. Please stop pretending to be some Fuzzy Family Friendly vacation destination. Offer Paris 50K to appear at your next club opening. Free Paris! Free Paris!

To quote my funny, wise, Vegas-wrestling diva..."In Vegas, Paris can't Wynn!"

Just Dawn
Go Rebels!