Ah...the Past.

I was just thinking about all the ways that life changes the further along in it that you get. For those of you who are young, take notes.

I used to worry about what color bikini would not make me look like Casper the ghost.
Now I spend the greater part of January through March trying to figure out what the hell am I going to wear to the beach that won't frighten kids.

Speaking of the beach, I used to make sure to get a little bit of a tan....tan fat is better than white fat, right? Now I am keeping my eye on a wierd spot on my thigh and cursing the evil sun for every wrinkle on my forehead. (THANKS Mom and Dad, for raising us in the freaking melanoma desert!)

I uesd to worry about how much the Brazillian wax was going to sting.
Now I have more interesting anxiety (though a similar uber-personal relationship) with the mammogram machine.

I used to get 10 Victoria's Secret catalogues a week. Now I get: Support hose! 20% off!! (Please refer to earlier post called I'm Mad at My Mail.) Seriously.

I used to go "Oh, I have fun plans next weekend! I'm going to cut out lunch for a couple of days so I can lose 5 pounds and look cute in my new dress!""
Now: Hire personal trainer for 4 weeks, eat no carbs, fat, anything white, no sugar, and cut my daily calories down to 300. I do cardio, taekwondo, and stretch every day. I ice everything on my whole body, and have even experimented with laxatives. Did I mention I am starving? I gain 2 pounds.
On another note: What's a new dress?

I used to go to concerts. Awesome, screaming, lighter-lighting, heavy metal, testoroned, kick ass, mosh pit, freakin ROCK SHOWS!!!
Now, I have seriously caught myself saying: "What is this awful crap the kids are listening to?"

I used to have disposable (read: accessories and makeup!) income. Now I have a kid in college, an elderly Labrador with medical needs, another one who, combined with the first one eats enough dog food to feed 14 horses. The last time I blew a benjamin or 2 at the Mac store?....can't remember.

I used to be hot.
Now I "look good for my age." Ladies over 40...Is that the worst compliment ever?

I'm from Vegas, Baby!!! Party starts at 1:00am!!! Woooooo!!!..
Now I'm in bed by 10:15. (Ok, really? This one is actually better.)

Ok, Middle-aged pity party over. There are LOTS of reasons it's good to be a grown up. I'm not a bulimic, insecure, drama queen like I was in my 20s. I have an awesome job. I have a couple of friends I have known for 25+ years. I am going to Africa. I have a great relationship with my mom. I even have some pretty good stories. I have no regrets. You don't get all that in your 20s.

I know, 20-somethings, you think I'd trade it all for that smooth skin, firm body, and idealistic free spirit that I used to have. Now that I've thought about it, I don't think so.

Bring on the Botox bitches!
just Dawn